Parenting the Other

Lucy Puglisi • April 5, 2023

I sat on the couch trembling, unable to speak as I tried to process the news I heard that day. At fifteen months, my youngest son, Alex had been diagnosed with Fragile X Syndrome; a rare genetic disorder that affects 1 in 7,000 males and 1 in 11,000 females.* Fragile X is an inherited form of intellectual and developmental disability. Our family was one that had drawn the short straw, as I learned my son was categorized as “retarded” by the medical staff who performed the genetic testing and analysis. He might not ever learn to walk and might always be dependent on others for his care, I was told. Devastating.



Despite being born a month early and being placed in the transition nursery due to some initial breathing difficulty, Alex rallied and came home with us at the standard two days following birth. Once home, everything was fine. In fact, Alex was a dream baby. Very calm and content. As he got older and started interacting with everyone, he was a very smiley, happy baby, but I started noticing that Alex wasn’t making his developmental milestones. Characteristics like low tone and inability to hold up his head became blaringly obvious as these were still challenges for him as an older baby that should have been further along developmentally. I started mentioning my concerns with his pediatric team, and though my concerns were not dismissed, there was a period in which the doctors wanted to give Alex more time. He was a preemie after all and preemies can take time to catch up to their peer-aged group. We gave Alex plenty of time, but in my gut, I knew

“I knew in my gut, something was wrong...”

something was wrong. I finally met with a pediatrician who immediately listened to my concerns and began writing scripts for testing. The news of Alex’s Fragile X diagnosis was horrible, but at least we had a name for what was happening with my son.

Following Alex’s diagnosis, we tried to support him in every way we knew how and followed our pediatrician’s advice to get him into occupational, speech, and physical therapy as soon as possible, because research suggests early therapy can give kids like Alex a leg up. We also moved to a different school district based on word-of-mouth advice that a specific school was where Alex needed to be. That advice was accurate; Alex went to a wonderful county preschool class. Alex seemed to be in good hands.


Unfortunately, following Alex’s graduation from pre-school, he was misplaced into a kindergarten class that was more than he was equipped to handle. His teacher was also a poor match for Alex. She clearly viewed him as an “other” and treated him as such. To further complicate his situation, it was also during Alex’s kindergarten school year that the pandemic hit. All the kids were sent home for virtual learning. Now the kids were home all day, expected to conduct virtual learning while the parents were also home and expected to perform work duties virtually. 


An impossible situation for all parents, but in my case, Alex’s father and I had gotten divorced; I was a single mother to two boys and all three of us had to be online learning or working. I had to help manage their lessons and their time online while also working. Perhaps most disappointing about how the pandemic was handled by the education administration was the decision to have special needs children “learn” virtually. 


It’s hard enough for neurotypical children to sit through a virtual school lesson, let alone a

learning-disabled child with special needs. Virtual learning was a total wash for Alex, and he lost a lot of the skills he had gained at school due to a lack of consistency. Alex is back in school and for now, we have once again found a good fit for him within the county school system where he is supported and even loved by his educational support staff.

He is happy.


Knowing my child is in a good place certainly removes a lot of stress, but it’s not enough. Through this journey, I have learned critical lessons that will shape how I plan for my son’s future: First, there are resources out there to help parents like me, but we parents have to dig for them.


Caring for special needs children is not a mainstream topic and it is on Alex’s father and me to research for him. Additionally, we must be willing to make accountable those charged with Alex’s care. Most people are innately good and want to do the right thing, but sometimes they don’t know what the right thing is and sadly some will lean toward doing what is easiest and not necessarily what is right. Parents of special needs children must be 100% involved in their child’s care and education and be at the helm in managing the decisions made for their child, regardless of whether your child is in public or private therapy and education. A final lesson to consider for Alex’s future is cost. A local private school that I feel would be perfect for Alex has tuition of around $4k-6k a month. Yes, there are tuition assistance programs, but given the median household income for our area is $65,030 annually (in 2021 dollars)**, even with tuition assistance, most family incomes cannot sustain tuition that would take up a substantial portion of that annual household income. Our family must rely on public education and though Alex’s current education is working for him, our family is at the mercy of what is provided to us.



All these challenges are my reality, and I must plan carefully for Alex’s future care. I must do everything I can to save money and leave behind clear directives to ensure his safety and happiness. Is it tough? Yes, and I realize that I must also take care of myself to not only enhance my own quality of life, but the lives of my sons as well. My boys get the best of me when I make sure the stress of our family challenges doesn’t take me out. I make sure I get lots of exercise; I’m an avid runner and I have also begun to swim laps with an intermural team again. Having young sons, especially a child who cannot be left alone can cause roadblocks to finding time to exercise. When is a parent supposed to get a workout? Sometimes you must think outside the box. The office where I work has a shower. I run during my lunch break and clean up before coming back to work for the rest of the day. When my sons are with their father, I use that opportunity to make the swim team practices and swim starting at 5:30 a.m. before I go to work. Some might see my workout routine as extreme, but I believe my physical and mental health are important. I deserve to be fit and happy and my kids deserve to have a mom that is doing everything she can to have a longer, high-quality life. This mom plans to be around for a while. 


I also make sure I plug into my support network. I have done a good job of connecting with people who I call real friends; those ride-or-die people who know how to offer reciprocal support. My friends are emotionally available and invested in me and my family - some have been with me for decades. Part of making sure I’m plugged into a support network is also reaching out to my therapist when I need her. She too has been with me for years, knows my kids and has been with me through the struggle of my son’s diagnosis, my divorce, and my subsequent single mom years. It is critical to have someone to talk to, because keeping pain and stress sequestered in our bodies makes us sick physically, psychologically, and spiritually. And speaking of spirituality and mindfulness, I make sure I give myself time for stillness. I meditate. Whether that meditation is done through immersing myself in nature on a quiet, solo hike in the mountains or a noisy group hike with my kids – being in nature heals me. I like to sit quietly and journal, and sometimes if I’m lucky, it works out for me to attend a sound bath or yoga session. In short, I think it’s important we give back to ourselves. Being a special needs parent can be scary and stressful, but I refuse to let those pieces of the experience own me or my family – we must keep going. 


The silver lining in all this is that Alex is a wonderful, innocent soul who is truly a gift from God. His disabilities will likely keep Alex at home into his adulthood and I have the comfort of knowing I get to keep this baby with me. My greatest wish for Alex is for him to receive the acceptance and love he gets from his inner circle on the outside of that circle as well.


What I would like others to know about our family and how to interact with us is this: humans innately analyze our environment. We assess and label – it’s how we’re built, but I would also like to remind everyone that humans are also capable of critical thought, deep emotion, and genuine connection to one another. My son gets labeled as “other” because he behaves differently than kids in his peer-age group, but if you think about what being intellectually disabled means, Alex is behaving no differently than where he is developmentally. True, Alex’s body is older, but cognitively, he’s much younger, like a toddler in many ways. It all comes down to our perceptions and expectations. We don’t bat an eye when a toddler behaves a certain way, but when an older child might exhibit similar behavior due to his/her cognitive exceptionalities, human nature is to label and categorize that child as “other”. I invite those to think more sympathetically about my son – he is exactly where he is supposed to be in his developmental journey. He and his family are okay with that, and so should you be. Dismiss the concept of “other” and turn your expectations into acceptance. My child is the embodiment of the great love that our creator has to offer us and truly seeing Alex and accepting him for who he is could invite that love into your own life. 


Choose love.


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Hydration: H2O

By Lanelle Henderson • August 22, 2024
I decided to revisit the interview on hydration because it is the one area in which we can all see real results. I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. K during a UPS Employee Health Fair in 2018. It was a breath of fresh air to meet someone speaking the same language and forging ahead with educating the community on holistic health and wellness practices. After attending her first session on Hydration, I was hooked. Her seminar and teaching style went above and beyond anything I ever experienced. Her knowledge and presentation were realistic and easy to apply. It was during this time that I realized I wanted to work with her. I am only touching the surface, but she compliments my mission with first-hand experience and knowledge from conventional and natural medicine. After shooting our first video together, I could not wait to share what I learned. Below is the interview on why water/hydration is so essential in our daily lives. I hope you get some takeaways you can apply today. Why did you choose the medical field? Dr. K: My family is from Nigeria, so I grew up with a lot of natural remedies, herbs, and healing products. I grew up knowing these methods worked, and I knew I wanted to be a doctor. In medical school, I was confronted about how heavily the curriculum was driven by drugs, pharmacology, disease pathology, surgeries, invasive procedures, and pharmaceutical intervention, but I was not hearing a lot of the things I grew up using. When I inquired about it, I was silenced and told that it’s not real medicine or it doesn't really work. This worked for my classmates, but it didn't work for me based on my experience. After medical school, I did extensive training on more natural remedies, like acupuncture and nutrient IV, for any case and every condition, from cold to cancer. Inquiring the knowledge was so fun for me, and it became my passion. There is a time and place for both, a time and place for conventional medicine, just as there is a time and a place for natural medicine. Knowing the dance between the two is where the magic happens. How long have you been in business? Dr. K: In 2013, Returning to Nature started as a movement that graduated to a platform for me to provide wellness education on natural healing, mind, body, and spirit balancing where people wanted more. Webinars, seminars, and blogs have become great resources for many. I love writing, so it complemented my practice. The Mind, Body Spirit Wellness Center based in the heart of Atlanta offers integrative medicine services to people who want to treat real-time conditions naturally. Why do we need water? Dr. K: Water is my favorite beverage on the planet to drink. Knowing its importance, I could not choose anything else. Water is essential because every cell, organ, and organ system needs water to function optimally. No cell or organ doesn’t use water. The immune system is a heavy hitter and requires a lot of water. When you are dehydrated, what happens? Dr. K: You are robbing your organs of the fuel to perform, so they will not work optimally. What are the benefits of being hydrated? Dr. K: There are head-to-toe benefits to being hydrated. A lot of people forget the brain for some reason. People always do colon cleanses, liver cleanses, and heart detoxes. The brain uses a significant amount of water to process. Just a few moments of dehydration decreases your mental clarity significantly. You want to be able to have brain clarity at all times. Forgetfulness, where you put things, and brain fog, where you can’t concentrate, is due to hydration. Water enhances your immune system, and you get sick fewer times yearly. In the face of sickness, you can increase your recovery time. Cardiovascular issues are claiming the most lives today, #1 for women and everyone. For women especially, our incidents of cardiovascular disease are increasing at earlier ages. You gave a formula for how much water you should drink per day. Please share this with our audience. Dr. K: This is more customized for the individual. The 6-8 cups of water we were taught only works for some, but it is a good starting point. I should not drink the same amount as NBA Star Lebron James because we are not the same weight, and his physical exertions far exceed mine. Even my family in Nigeria requires a different amount. Someone in sub-Saharan Africa needs more water under the sun than in the States. Here’s the formula: Take your own body weight and divide that number in half - that is the number of ounces of water you should drink daily. For example, a 200 lbs person should drink at least 100 oz of water per day. What is the best time of day to consume water? Dr. K: First - drink throughout the day. Some people will go an entire workday without drinking water and come home and consume 1/2 their weight. You don’t want to chug the water all at once - it's dangerous. It is not a good feeling and is medically dangerous. It throws off your sodium/water balance internally. so you want to drink throughout the day. The benefits of drinking in the early morning are you kick start your metabolism, so you’re getting things going and organ systems processing before you have a meal and start moving physically. It’s a great detox and energy and enhances brain clarity within 30 minutes of waking up. Every hour or 2 hours, set an alert on your smartphone to Drink Water and have a cup or two - (8) 16 ounces. We need to Schedule Wellness like we Schedule Appointments.

Integrated Fitness

By Lanelle Henderson • August 22, 2024
Back to Basics

Stress-free Decluttering

By Linda Diamond • August 22, 2024
When you are ready to declutter, remember to stay focused and know your energy levels. Here are a few ideas for attaching the gremlins: Allocate Time Blocks – Schedule decluttering time blocks on your calendar. Respect The Calendar – Honor those appointments where you have designated time to roll your sleeves up and dive into decluttering. Come Prepared – Make sure your bags or boxes are labeled for Give Away, Toss, Recycle, Repair, or Move to Another Room. Make It Fun – Turn up your favorite music, light a candle, or set up the diffuser with your favorite oil. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff – If you cannot decide on an item, leave it for a rainy day and move on to the things that do not require too much brain power. How Will It Live – Know how you will honor the keepers. Ensure your treasures and essential belongings are placed in an area/zone that suits your lifestyle and functional needs. Lock The Door (figuratively) – Do not allow yourself to leave the zone assigned to your clutter control time slot. Have an Exit Plan – Decide how you will get rid of the things you do not want to keep – are you donating to a favorite charity? Is there a family member or friend you want to gift an item to? Reward Yourself – Acknowledge yourself with a treat for taking care of tasks that help you breathe a bit easier in your space. Hopefully, this list will encourage you to clean out your things for a simpler and less stressful home. So what are you waiting for? Go declutter something!

Universal Alignment

By Noelle Abent • August 22, 2024
We're quick to invest in our physical through exercise, food, or clothing, for example, but we’re holistic beings, and we must take care of every aspect of ourselves. This leaves the mental, emotional, and Spiritual aspects. Ask yourself, How are you investing in these areas of your Life? When we feel out of balance, it’s often because one of these aspects is lacking or overstimulated, and we must return to balance. When all aspects of ourselves are balanced, our energy flows- not just the energy in our bodies but in our lives, in our manifestations - because we’re aligned with the energy of the Universe! As we’re balanced within, we create a balanced life without! Here’s how: We live in a creative Universe! You must have balanced energy to create with. As we’re balanced in our own energy, we can align with the energy of the Universe in order to manifest our desires. We live in an abundant Universe! Every tool we need to support us in our creations is available to us- it's usually just a phone call or Google click away! There is no lack; Seek, and ye shall find. We live in a loving Universe! You are loved- not just human love, but divine unconditional love. Open yourself up to receive this love, tap into it, and feel the unconditional love and support of the Universe. -This love is the fuel behind your creations- this is why all the resources you need will show up. When you invest in your Spirit, your Life will begin to blossom. Say this affirmation to support you in your creations: As I create my life, I feel the loving support of the universe and am guided by every step I take.

Sleep tips to get the rest you deserve

By Lanelle Henderson • August 22, 2024
Getting enough sleep is important for people of all ages to stay in good health.

ReNewing Yourself

By Lanelle Henderson • August 22, 2024
Creating change in the new year
Paddle Board

Outdoor Fun & Fitness

By Angela Berry, CES, CPT • July 3, 2023
Working out in the gym is great, but it’s summertime! Why not take advantage of the benefits nature has for the body? Cardio machines in the gym can provide numerous benefits; however, doing the same movement pattern repeatedly may potentially cause an overuse injury. When walking, hiking, biking, or running on a trail that is constantly changing, such as hills, sharp turns, or different surfaces, can enhance the strength of your connective tissues and muscles, which may help avoid injuries. Also, an added good wind resistance is great because you must move faster and work harder. This will cause you to burn more calories. Having resistance activates the larger type II muscle fibers, which are responsible for strength and toning/definition 1 . So go and challenge your body! Get out to your local park, take a walk, run, or bike on a nearby trail or around your neighborhood! Some local parks have outdoor fitness stations that incorporate strength conditioning for a total body workout, such as pull-ups, planks, squats, etc. There are other fun outdoor activities to do, such as joining a flag football team, playing tennis, rock climbing, and pickleball (my personal favorite). These activities help with connecting with your community, and having several positive relationships can help improve your mental health as well. There is quantifiable research that suggests that outdoor exercise provides greater benefits than sweating indoors. In one study , researchers found that exercising outdoors “was associated with greater feelings of revitalization, increased energy, and a positive engagement, which decreases tension, confusion, anger, and depression. The participants also reported greater enjoyment and satisfaction with outdoor activities. So, schedule some time for you and your family to put the phones on silent and other electronic devices to go outside and move. It will enhance real-life social network 2 . Don’t forget about the fun water activities (swimming, paddle boarding, kayaking, etc)! Yes, I am talking about going to the beaches, swimming pools, and river rafting! There are so many activities to do on the beach. Paddle boarding is fun and challenging because it works on your balance, and you must have a strong core, upper and lower body muscles. Kayaking and river rafting mostly use the upper body muscles (shoulders, back, arms, and chest). The waves will be your resistance to all these activities. Swimming is good for developing muscle endurance and strength. There are so many activities for the pool. Why not join a pool exercise class (outside)? You can work a little harder because the water is much gentler on the joints. The resistance of the water slows down movements that can be quick and jerky on land, which creates smooth-flowing motions that are less likely to aggravate injuries. The resistance also causes you to burn more calories than you would on land 3 . Exercising outdoors on water or land can be a natural antidepressant. Sunshine naturally increases serotonin (a hormone that affects your mood), and exercising produces endorphins, which is another feel-good hormone that boosts your mood and reduces pain. Also, as a bonus, sunshine is a way to get vitamin D 4 . But don’t forget your sunscreen! Used sunscreen regularly to help prevent sunburn, skin cancer, and premature aging. Sun protection factor (SPF) represents a sunscreen’s ability to protect against a specific portion of ultraviolet (UV) light called UVB. UVB rays are responsible for sunburn and skin cancer. However, there are two other types of UV light: UVC rays (which don’t pass through the earth’s atmosphere) and UVA rays (which are responsible for skin cancer as well as skin aging). A sunscreen that is broad spectrum will protect against both UVB and UVA rays. For daily use, choose a sunscreen with an SPF of at least 30, and if you spend a lot of time outdoors, choose a product with SPF 60 or greater 5 . So go out and enjoy the summer and remember to stay hydrated as well. References: acefitness.org/resources/everyone/blog/5911/6-benefits-of-exercising-outdoors/ pubs.acs.org/doi/abs/10.1021/es102947t health.harvard.edu piedmont.org/living-better/7-health-benefits-of-outdoor-exercise hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/sunscreen-and-your-morning-routine#:~:text=Wearing%20sunscreen%20is%20one%20of,Anna%20Chien%20addresses%20common%20concerns

Create Wealth by Investing in Stocks

By Rebecca McClain • July 2, 2023
Investing in the stock market is a smart way to create wealth. There is a misconception that the stock market is reserved for high-wage earners, including millionaires and billionaires. Nothing could be further from the truth. While it is true that most of these same individuals do, indeed, invest in the stock market, one need not be a high-wage earner to invest. In fact, “average Joes” are becoming millionaires daily investing in stocks. They understand the principle of compound interest that helps them multiply their investment dollars. Building wealth in the stock market is about adding small, regular investments into a financial portfolio. If you don’t yet have a financial portfolio, I strongly encourage you to set one up. Include an emergency fund, stocks, and other financial securities. You can’t afford not to! Creating wealth is easier than you may think if you take it one step at a time. You can begin building wealth immediately by investing just $5 a day. Take a look at your current spending habits, and I can almost guarantee you can come up with $5 you’re spending on non-essentials that can be diverted to building wealth. A few examples might be Starbucks, nails, lashes, weaves, designer bags, clothes, eating out, etc. While there is nothing wrong with these purchases, they should not be prioritized over your financial future. If we only view money as a means to an end, then money has no value except to pay our bills and, perhaps, spend on non-essentials. We must condition the mind to view money as a means of exchanging value where we’re not working for money, but money is working for us. Investing in the stock market is a means of compounding our money by helping accumulate wealth over time. Once we’ve made the mental shift, we’re on our way to financial freedom. If you’re just beginning your journey to financial freedom with limited finances, there are 3 key principles you’ll need to apply: Discipline. It can be easy to lose heart with the process when funds are limited, or your circumstances are not what you consider ideal. You might feel tempted to abort the process and divert back to old spending habits. I encourage you to resist, keep the faith and push ahead. Sacrifice is not a dirty word. With sacrifice comes great reward. Consistency. You’ll need to come up with a regular investing schedule that coincides with your earning cycles. Whether you’re investing in stocks through your company’s 401k plan or on your own, be consistent. The stock market is cyclical. By adding a steady dollar amount regardless of what the market is doing, you don’t have to worry about when is best to invest. You’ll likely invest more overall. Patience. As the saying goes, “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” the same holds true for building wealth. Financial freedom is not a get-rich-quick endeavor, nor is it a scheme. Stock market investment is a vehicle you can use to build generational wealth and leave a lasting financial legacy. You’re never too young or old to invest in the stock market. Your age might determine your investment strategy, but both outcomes can be just as rewarding. If you’re new to stock market investments, you can start by using Exchange Traded Funds (ETFs) to generate income. An ETF is a basket of stocks that you can buy and sell on the stock exchange. You get access to hundreds, even thousands of income-generating assets in a single purchase. ETFs trade like individual stocks. To learn more about pursuing income using ETFs, click this link entitled 3 Reasons to Pursue Income Using ETFs to watch my video. My challenge is that you will commit to investing $5 a day and begin creating wealth. There are several brokerage platforms that will allow you to invest in individual stocks and ETFs by purchasing partial shares of these securities beginning with $5. Be sure to do your research and consult with a skilled professional before making financial decisions.

Editor's Note: The Great Outdoors

By Lanelle Henderson • July 1, 2023
What are your summer plans? As the heat index rises, what are you planning to do outdoors? As much as I love the milder weather of spring, the summer brings a whole new level of weather. In the South, the temperature can get into the triple digits. But now, it seems like these temperatures have affected all the states. It's going to be a hot one! My goal is to get outside more. The last couple of years has left me very comfortable being inside. This has affected my mental health. I got way too comfortable staying inside and started feeling doubtful. I made the commitment to get out more and enjoy the scenery more. In the latter part of Spring, I joined the USTA (United States Tennis Association) for their Tennis 101 program. I needed a refresher on my technique and to socialize more. It was the best way to spend my Thursday and Friday mornings. The group consisted of only four other ladies, which made training more effective. We played doubles and learned some new swings. During our last class, the temperature was 90 degrees at 10:00 a.m., and my water was not cutting it. Our trainer handed me a bottle of Gatorade that cooled me down and gave me some much-needed electrolytes. If this becomes the norm, I will have to find indoor courts.
Beach Sunrise

Morning Routines

By Lanelle Henderson • April 13, 2023
I learned a long time ago, having a morning routine was the basis for the start of a good day. My parents made sure we got a good night's sleep and had a quality breakfast - the most important meal of the day, so we can be alert and focus on our school work.
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